of choices

fml

why do we have to make choices 

why are there so many choices in life 

why why why 

choices in work 

choices in life 

choices in food

choices in friends 

choices in everything 

everything has a choice 

you can choose to be a good friend 

you can choose to be a dumb friend 

you can choose to be someone you like 

you can choose to be someone someone likes 

you can choose to be someone you hate 

you can choose to be someone someone hates 

...........

now i choose to feel like i have been used 

........

now i choose to feel like that and i hate it 

because i have chosen to believe that i have been used indeed 

........

tell you what 

i have had the same feeling and thought much earlier 

tell you what 

i told myself maybe not...

she wouldn't do that to me 

.....

ha fml

i am being used 

....

friends 

friends 

......

how can i remove rubbish friend from life 

how can i just have good friends good people in life 

how can i have someone who treats me equally how i treat them 

how can i be so naive to think that they will treat me equally good if i do so 

.......

fml fml fml

.......

some friends or i should say some people 

do not worth a tiny bit of my kindness 

....

ok ok 

maybe i should not think that way 

....

ok ok 

now i chose to be good 

so being kind is no wrong 

being kind is good 

it is better than being a bitch to people 

....

but do you know the feeling 

the feeling that you have been used 

the fact that you are just a fucking back up plan for them 

the fact that you are just a fucking spare tyre for them 

the fact that you are just a fucking toy for them 

the fact them you will you have and you will be there for them when they need you 

but never vice versa 

no no no 

dont even think about it 

.....

i think everyone should choose to protect yourself first 

....

this is a selfish world 

fucking selfish world 

choose wisely

....

anyway

tonight is supposed to be a good night

coz i found good music

so very good

so very very good

i have been thinking to open up a music blog

but its so hard

too much commitment

i dont think i can do it 

two weeks off from work

hola hola ole ole

i took two weeks off from work end of august

to go back homeeeeeeee

and koreaaaaa

everytime I go home I have different thoughts

this round home am feeling so much more than usual

more feeling as in more emotional and that leads to tears

i dont know why

maybe i feel that my parents are getting old

maybe i feel that my grandparents are old already and i should spend more time with them

maybe i feel that i should stay back to help out my parents to take care of my bro and sis

maybe i feel that i should stay back to accompany my sis more

maybe i feel that i should be there for my bro

maybe there are too many maybe

but family always comes first

always always

they are always gonna be there for you

when you are happy

when you are sad

---------------------

anyway

korea was good

that was my first trip with my sibs only

hopefully more to come in future

dad and mom was expecting us to just sleep in our room and not explore korea

especially my mom

oh wells typical asian parents

but we proved them wrong lol

but next round sibs trip

i hope i wish my bro could be more mature and...

not like 'lam beh beh'

but i have to say he cooperate with us, his sisters very well

so he deserve hug hug kiss kiss

...................

xx