Fair

I again believe God is fair.

Today, it's a good day. It's absolutely a good day. I got a lot of freebies and played some games in university's O' week (Orientation week). I even got a sunglasses from the windows 8 booth. Awesome right! So it's definitely a good day to my friends and I.

But, whenever there are too many good things happen around us the bad ones will come along.


First, Siew Ern, Kai Yen and I walked to a store with closing down sales cuz we were planning to get ourself a windbreaker. And guess what and who we met? Flasher. Bad.

Then, I wanted to wash the toilet and I forgotten if I just splash a bucket of water to the floor, the water will flow out straight to outside to the carpet. So I did it. The carpet is wet wet wet. And so you know., wet carpet will gives out unpleasant smell if we don't dry it. So lily and yen helped me out to dry it up by using hair dryer. Guess what! The hair dryer was too damn hot...hello, sparkles. Scary shit. So in the end we use cloths to dry it up.

That's why I again believe God is fair.

Hello from Adelaide.

Okay, how do I start?

I am here in Australia, Adelaide with 3 other friends with the same dream - to graduate from University of Adelaide major in Food and Nutrition Science. Four of us landed on the land of Adelaide last Sunday morning with heavy heads. We didn't get to sleep in the plane as the plane just don't make us feel right but I think Lily did sleep like a pig. Hah! Ok, so we reached Adelaide airport, looking for our names on anyone's hand to bring us to our hostel. Apparently, we don't see our name. Hmm got quite panic...but everything was fine after a while when we found Selina from Uni of Adelaide. Selina was in charged to arrange a van to bring us to our hostel, The Village.

Checked in.
First impression - good place to live but pricey. I didn't know its pricey until I met some people who got cheaper stay. So we are planning to find a house and move out next year. Hopefully we got an ideal house to stay in.

Before I even reach Adelaide, the first big problem I thought of; scared of and worry of is sleeping. I never like sleeping alone in a room and I never like to sleep with lights off. I am afraid of darkness and ghost. Hahaha! Yeah, laugh all you want cuz I myself is laughing while I type out. Yes, one of the biggest challenge I will face this year. Brr. The first night I wanted to sleep with Kai Yen but I was kinda shy...everyone has got a single bed so yeah. I lied beside Yen for a while then I went to my own room, forcing myself to sleep alone with LIGHTS ON. I really feel a little better that way. :D So, first night I survived cuz I have not sleep for about 24hours. But the second night, I couldn't stand the 500km/h heart pumping when I am sleeping alone in my room so, I slept with Yen. Hehe. I feel good in fact. I feel safe! That was the first and last time I sleep with Yen for that week. The next few days I sleep with myself with lights on.

Four of us got an apartment unit, just nice for four of us. Four rooms, a living room, a kitchen, 3 toilets and a dining room. One thing that I wanna roll my eyes is that the things are not complete lah. I thought everything will be complete. We don't have pillow and blanket in our room and the weather is turning cold. So, we quickly take a bus down to Rundle Mall and lucky us saw a closing down sales selling their quilts, bed sheets, pillow and etc. So yeah, we got what we need to keep us comfortable and warm at night.

Oh yeah, we had our first lunch in Chinatown. Worst meal ever. Fried chicken? More like fried flour. Bahh.

Stay tune for more.

P/S: I didn't plan to write so much. A friend of mine sort of motivated me to do so.

Byes.

sometimes, words cannot describe how you feel and what you think.

also, sometimes you got so much to say to share to tell but you don't know how and there is nobody.

能不舍吗？

自从我将要离开大马的消息传开后，很多朋友都问我会舍不得叶子吗？我们还好吗？

我可以不舍得吗？在这年龄的阶段，学业在第一位，学业比较重要。
人生不就是要懂得取舍嘛。

其实，我也不能说上多少。任何事情，尤其是感情事，都不由得我控制。
这一次的离别将会是我们两个人的感情的挑战。澳洲说远，比起美国算不远了,但是还是有时差。沟通，很重要。两个人能够在一起，不容易；两个人来自不同背景，两个人想法必然会有些不同，所以，沟通自然的重要。但是，有时候人与人的沟通就是有点不通，会遇上各种的问题，会遇上奇怪的问题，会遇上意想不到的问题。

啊。说多了也没用。

掰。

More than a cup of Latte.

Hello. I have been busy. Busy packing my stuffs, busy following up emails, busy meeting up people and busy with nothing or too much of thinking. And I just got home from a tea session with my pastor before I leave.

The topic "More than a cup of Latte" - I ordered a cup of Latte while having the last meet up with Pastor Corina before I leave. We don't have much time to talk, just a short meet up session but we talked a lot. from church to God to love to family to food to life. Thank you for all the advises  thank you for the prayers, thank you for telling me life is really a long journey, thank you for telling me life is a choice, thank you for everything. I promise, to be a good person even when I am away from Malaysia. I guess I am leaving with regrets that I can't meet Pastor Zion and the other church mates. Yes, I will come back and you might think that i am exaggerating everything here, but I do feel down for not saying a good good-bye with them. Hence, it's more than a cup of Latte. 

Ok, I really would like to express my damn feeling here before I am busy and forget how I feel again. 

I am leaving for good. I am leaving to Australia for good, for a better education. I am leaving to a new place. I am leaving a place where I live for the past 19 years. I am leaving this place but I am leaving for good. - I tell myself. I am leaving for good. Indeed not everyone has this chance to leave your homeland to a new place to experience a new life, meeting new people and basically every single shit will be different. 

For the past 19 years, I never move out from my house, never live alone, never eat alone, never sleep alone, never play alone, never watch tv alone, never talk to the wall, never wash my clothes by myself and etc. All thanks to my mom (superwoman) and dad (superman) and all the existing machines. 

But after today, I left one more day to stay at home and be the princess. After the coming up Saturday, I have to do everything by myself. I have to settle everything by myself. I have to control my emotions. I have to think maturely. I have to make good choices in any choices. I have to have my own principles and not lost myself. It does sounds that I am alone. I am not. I have my family. I have my boyfriend. I have God. Hence, i am really not alone. 

There are quite a number asking me this question - "Are you excited?" 

Am I excited? I thought of it for a while. I am not really excited in fact. Maybe I am, I just don;t feel its strong. It's on and off. I am not THAT excited that you thought and so do myself because I have to leave a lot of things behind especially my family. My dad, is the one who I feel most-heavy-hearted to leave and also my mom. Next, my sister and brother. Then, Zhu Wei. So so so so much to worry and to care. 

So much of challenges coming ahead. I pray for a stronger mind and body to go through them. 

I promise I will be a better person when I am back. :)

It's a dream; It's not a dream.

Where should I start? My feeling?

太突然了。

Myself & I

當退去光鮮外表 當我卸下睫毛膏 脫掉高跟鞋的腳 是否還能站得高 當一天掌聲變少 可還有人對我笑 停下歌聲和舞蹈 我是否重要 我鏡子裡的她 好陌生的臉頰 哪個我是真的哪個是假 我用別人的愛定義存在 怕生命空白 卻忘了該不該讓夢掩蓋當年那女孩 假如你看見我 這樣的我 膽怯又軟弱 會閃躲 還是說 你更愛我 ♥ 當一天舞台變小 還有誰把我看到 莫非是我不夠好 誰會來擁抱 我鏡子裡的她 好陌生的臉頰 哪個我是真哪個是假 我用別人的愛定義存在 怕生命空白 卻忘了該不該讓夢掩蓋當年那女孩 假如你看見我 這樣的我 膽怯又軟弱 會閃躲 還是說 你更愛我 ♥ 我怕沒有人愛 不算存在 生命剩空白 卻忘了我應該誠實對待當年那女孩 假如你看見我 這樣的我 窩在個角落 會閃躲 還是說 你更愛我 會閃躲 還是說 你更愛我

It's never easy to be yourself. 

We always be someone else; 

Someone that we want the others to love us more, 

Someone that we want the others to remember us, 

Someone that we want the others to look at us for one more second. 

Thus, it is never easy to be yourself. 

This is the world I guess? 

We all want attention. We all want to give people a good impression of our self  We all want people to remember us. 

... 

Are you yourself? 

Or are you someone else that you don't know?