Rant?

Semester break is coming to an end. If you ask whether I did anything productive, I would say...basically no even though I did listen to recorded lectures and even make my own notes and also started to do research for my Microbes assignment that carry 25%. I make notes because the lecturer didn't update her updated notes and upload to online, hence, I have to copy the notes from her recorded lecture which is such a waste of time. But not really. 

Please don't remind me I am one who lives in 21st century where almost everything rely on technology. One of the thing I hate is - using new software to do my homework! I suck in exploring software. Now, I am using a software called GraphPad where you can draw graphs obviously but I don't know how to use it. I never like using softwares. I never like to explore new softwares. Now, I am staring at the GraphPad for a night and I haven't done any graph. I just hate using software, so damn complicated even though it seems like it's going to ease my work. Oh god...so, please don't remind me that I am living in 21st century. 

At times, I feel lost. I lost my direction. I am so afraid of growing up, like seriously. I wish the time stop now and I never grow up but this is never never going to happen. Everyone knows that. I am not sure whether whatever I am doing now is what I want later. I am not sure what I want in the future. I am not sure what can I do to achieve what I wish to have in the future. I am on my second year on studies and left one more year to go and I have to decide whether to do another year of Honors or I should just get a job or...maybe study something else? I have to start thinking and get my direction right. Growing up is not a joke. Meh...

Bahhhhh.