5 years love

It's our fifth year together. 

How does it feel like? 

I am not sure actually. 

One friend of mine asked me - 

Do you feel like you are in love again every morning you wake up? 

LOL. 

That friend is too damn artsy. 

I don't know if I have that feeling, 

that fall in love all over again feeling. 

I tend to wish him good morning and good night everyday. 

Well, I try to and I think that's a good habit.  

At least there is something we both do to each other everyday. 

That is something I wait for everyday - a greeting. 

I sometimes remind him - he thinks greeting is not important I guess. 

I can't blame him - we are totally different. 

But I'd tell him that I hope he can wish me everyday - and I get it everyday...he'd missed out at times. 

Sometimes I will forget too - he will ask me why didn't I say morning to him. 

I don't morning him if I am pissed off. Girls. 

Zhuwei and I are totally different. 

I would say I am someone who is more systematic and tidy and emotional - compare to him. 

He is just another boy who doesn't really care all the small little things in life. 

I only came to realize that we are totally different. 

Our thinking is different. Our way of doing things is different. 

Sounds bad, right? 

Not that bad, actually. 

At least, we are holding hand to do things differently and think differently. 

It's not easy to be together...but we want to be together - that counts big time. 

If there is a will, there is a way. lol. 

It gets harder when we spend more time together. 

But that really doesn't matter. 

We sort things out. 

We shall be good. 

We shall be good for each other and better in the future, hopefully. 

Directions & Decisions

It's my decision to go this direction. 

It's her decision to go that direction. 

It's his decision to go that direction. 

It's not my decision to decide for her. 

It's not my decision to decide for him. 

It's not a straight road. 

It's a road with many many more roads that branched out. 

It leads to apart. 

It leads to meeting up...

one fine day, we will all meet again. 

mother love

Being mother - is not an easy job. 

I believe non of the mothers out there like to see that her children is not doing well. 

As long, the children get to filled up the tummy, has a shelter and happy - 

they are happy. 

They always want us to have the best - 

as long we are happy and healthy. 

The things(shits) mothers have to go through, 

I only realize and deeply feel it when I am grown up. 

The patience to teach us to be a good, to be well-mannered, to be kind hearted, to be honest, to be happy, to have a big heart, to let go some things, to hold on some thing, to be determine, to be hardworking, to be smart, to be able to deal with different people...

so so so much more. 

Mother is just incredible. 

I hope it's not too late to realize how incredible my mother is. 

She is just beyond great. 

Note to job seeker?

*it's allllll my own opinions* 

To all job seekers. 

I know job hunting is not easy. 

I know job hunting is not easy at all. 

It is torturing in fact. Mentally torturing. 

For the past few months....12 months(?), every morning the first thing I do after I open my eyes - 

I reach out my mobile and refresh my email inbox to follow up all the jobs that I applied. 

Everyday, never fails, except for weekends of coz. 

But everyday, I check my inbox. 

Everyday I wait for phone calls from any possible successful application. 

When my phone rings, so nervous and say hello. 

The first few times I always screw up the phone calls but later on I get used to it and it went well. 

Practice makes perfect. 

Job hunting can drive people nuts! 

I don't know anything about back home coz I started my career in OZ. 

Maybe the job hunt back home would be slightly easier coz you get connections easier. 

I started from zero, I don't know how I did it but I just did it. 

I am not well knowns of coz...still a peanut but at least I have got a few connections. 

It's not easy. It takes time. It takes so much time. 

And most importantly, be strong mentally and be determine. 

Do not lost hope. 

It's not easy, I know. 

But do not lost hope. 

Opportunities are out there. 

You will get it eventually. 

Yes, believe me.  

So, to all my job seekers friend - 

Please do not lost hope. 

Please do not stop sending out your resume lol. 

I swear, I give out my resume like leave-lets. 

If you tell me you sent out like maybe 10 applications and no reply...

10 applications means nothing, really. 

I am not being harsh but from my own experience - 

I think I sent out 100 since last year. 

So, 10 is really nothing. 

One of the manager that spoke to me earlier, he told me he sent out 100-200 applications back then when he just graduate. 

So - 10??!! 

You just have to very determine and keep telling yourself not to give up. 

But, if you get reply after 10 applications, you are just damn lucky or you have really good qualifications la ok. 

But seriously, do not lost hope friends. 

Be positive. 

Find someone to talk. 

As a fresh grad, I have nothing to negotiate with people with experience. 

Seriously nothing to nego - so what if I am a bachelor degree student? everyone is. so what I finished my studies in a university? so, nothing lol.

So, I just keep applying and hoping someone will get back to me and any job that is within my acceptable scope, I will just do it. 

I just have to start from somewhere. 

I am not the lucky one, I would say. 

It took me quite some time to build up my small little circle of connections and it took some time to get spotted by people. 

So yeah. 

Please do not lost hope friends. 

I believe opportunities are out there. 

Every opportunity is your chance to get and secure that damn job. 

I don't know where I will be in the future but I hope I will be good and proud of myself. 

I don't know where I will be too but I am just gonna give my best for now. 

And yes, I kinda secured a job and I was lucky someone saw me lol *WIDE SMILE* like finally okayyyyy. 

Let's wait till my probation ends... 

I will feel secure then! 

DO NOT LOST HOPE. 

BELIEVE YOURSELF. 

WE CAN DO IT. 

We are still young, we have so much opportunities - 

Something I read from facebook - 我输得起！

True that. 

We are still young so just try out any opportunity. 

Good luck friends, you can do it, I can do it, we all can. 

hello april already

hello april, my mom's month. 

wished her a happy birthday and sent a card back home on the bday it self lol. 

im always last minute. always forgetful. bad bad. 

anyway let's so a short update. 

so i just ended the working contract in the QA team to help out before an audit. 

it was fun indeed. the people i worked with are just fine. 

well not all of coz but overall everything is just fine. 

i learnt new things and i gained new experience every time i work at different place with different role. 

i realize that working casually could be fun and eye opening. 

working casually i get to see more people, i get to meet more people, i get to hands-on on different area and i learnt about myself more too. 

recently i get to work hands on in an environment testing lab. 

not much hands on but at least an experience not everyone has the chance to. 

so im pretty lucky and grateful.  

im pretty lucky and unlucky at the same time actually. 

lucky that i get to work at different areas. 

unlucky is that i am always moving around and not a permanent working at a place. 

sometimes travelling by public transport can be quite tiring, i have to admit. 

but then, it's so much better than no-work. 

im not sure whether i am one step closer or stagnant on the road to PR application in oz. 

but i can tell that i am quite enjoying my life here, right now. 

im kinda used to move aorund by train and bus and walking... 

... 

something i learn recently; 

sometimes there is no need to share everything with friends, close friends too. 

not every time they give shit. 

sometimes they are just ignorant like others. 

i don't know whether they are just out of words to comfort you or they are just plainly lazy to reply. 

the non-repliers - internet people, sometimes they are just one of them. 

so why bother to share to anyone right...

ugh life. 

so cruel. so cold. so much sadness in between. 

who is true friend? who is who? who is what? 

i guess i will never find out. 

people change, things change. 

so much shit change... 

i shall grow up and open my eyes to see who is who and who is what and what is what...