what do i want to do

hmm

never did i thought i am 26 years old this year

and almost 27 years old

ahh

is it ok if i am kinda lost now

haha

at least i have a stable job now

for the next two years

but i want to do more

but i want to achieve more

i am thinking to pursue a professional yogi cert

i am planning

but not sure where do i start

i guess i have to start somewhere


anyway

i just came back from malaysia

attended a proposal of a close uni friend

travelled to bali with my family

every time i go home

i try my very best to spend more time with my fam

especially with my mom and dad and grandparents

no matter how much time i spent with them

it is not enough to replace the time lost all these years i lived in overseas

not enough

i guess it will never be enough

what is lost is lost

especially time

anyway anyway

i just want to achieve something other than having a career

a stable career

i want to do something more fun

like a hobby

like something i am passionate about

i will keep my blog updated about this

hopefully the next post i will bring some good news to myself

生气 值得吗

最近发生蛮多让人生气的事

让我自己生气的事

朋友

工作

仔细想想其实也还好

并没有太糟糕

如果不太执着其实真的还好

所以 生气 不值得

但是 又在但是

要放下真的 不容易

对我来说啦

anyway

金曲 30 很棒

陈奕迅很棒

久违的孙燕姿超级棒 很多人说她什么什么不好 我觉得他们不认识孙燕姿

还有我不太喜欢的GEM也能很好 没办法说不好

Happy Belated Father's Day

I don't know about you but I only get to actually have a conversation with my dad time to time in recent years.

By the way, why am I writing this? Because I just watched The Ming Thing video made for Father's Day. I feel that Ming's Dad is very much like my dad except that my dad did not graduate from the University of Edinburg hahah.

Anyway, back to the topic...

My dad is a typical Asian Dad. He'd be a good standard for How To Be An Asian Dad.

Daddy has always been the provider to our family.

I remember my mom told me when I was a toddler, my dad always works till late night and I must give him a call to say goodnight before going to bed.

I have always been very very very scared of my dad because he always looks fierce and he is always quiet.

My dad is a quiet person, he doesn't talk much.

Anyway, I was really really afraid of my dad hahah don't ask me why, its just the power of Asian Dad.

The aura he produced is stressful for me to even breath.

I did not really talk to my dad until I study abroad in Adelaide.

I guess distance has improved our relationship but how sad is that? We only learn to show love when one is not by our side.

I remember during the Parent Teacher Day (to collect result card), back in Primary School - if dad attends this day I would be very nervous but I remember I was happy to see my dad come. Don't know why too.

To be honest, my dad did not get too involved in my schooling days, I don't remember he teaching me mathematics or what so ever, maybe he did and I don't remember.

But even if he did not teach me anything on homeworks, that is totally fine to me. Because he paid for allllllllll my tuitionsssss.

But I wished my dad was involved in my schooling days more and I guess I will be a different person today.

I lost track of my thoughts...always.

What I wanted to state in this post is that there will be a gap generation between my dad and I, that is for sure.

And thanks to Ming's video I suddenly thought this gap generation is good to be there. Can I say it is a beautiful accident?

Just because this gap generation taught me more about being thoughtful, kind, generous and simple.

The gap generation is there and as a child of my dad, I have to learn to accept it and learn from it because the life my dad had when he was a child was not easy for him, he did not get any privilege like me and you, he did not get to go to the best school, did not get to choose the subject he wants to study, did not get the latest sneakers and not all the good food I am having all this while.

Because of the difficult days, he had before when he was young, he appreciates more on what he has today than I do. Because he has come a long way to be who he is today and own what he has today.

I have to admit it can be quite tough to deal with the gap generations stuff but I guess we can't be selfish, try to think on his end, think thoroughly, why is he acting this way - you will find the reason because I do and you will just accept it just because deep down you do love your dad so very much.

I hope gap generation exist forever - I believe this will be a 'tool' to create more beautiful person.

Lastly, Happy Father's Day to my beloved Asian Dad. I love you so much.

This is something I will never say to my dad face to face - Asian Daughter.










.

青年

青年大概的意思是young adult吧

青年

我就是一名青年

青年的意思应该就是一个特别的阶段

这个阶段会发生很多事

这个阶段大多数的青年刚刚踏进社会不久

这个阶段大多数的青年用了自己的劳力赚了第一份薪水

这个阶段大多数的青年明白了钱难赚

这个阶段大多数的青年应该在想我们的父母是如何把我们兄弟姐妹带大

这个阶段大多数青年应该在想怎样可以赚的跟更多钱

这个阶段大多数青年应该在策划什么时候可以拥有第一件房子

这个阶段大多数青年应该在想什么时候才可以过着悠闲的生活甚至退休

很多很多经历的事情都围绕着 金钱

金钱固然重要 但是金钱真的万能吗

地位固然重要 但是地位真的那么重要吗

物质固然重要 但是真真需要的物质多少才够呢

口上说做的一切是帮助别人 是一个使命 是个人成长的一部分

事实上是利用人利用友情利用每一份可以利用的情谊换取你追求的

我不想懂 我不想明白

但是我明白

每个青年的梦想不一样

而我和你也不例外

只是我们都不一样了

很恐怖的变化

我不是没梦想

只是我的梦想没有你的那么大那么强大

我的梦想 很平凡

对你来说 太平凡

也可能对你来说 我不争气

你肯定会说 我多想了

那我想说 你怎么不多想你怎么变成了和另外一个人同样了呢

你所的梦想再大 也只不过是被人牵着鼻子走

这个时候毛不已的《消愁》非常合适

一杯敬故乡 一杯敬远方
守着我的善良 催着我成长

这是青年。

毛不易 - 消愁

当你走进这欢乐场 背上所有的梦与想 各色的脸上各色的妆 没人记得你的模样 三巡酒过你在角落 固执的唱着苦涩的歌 听他在喧嚣里被淹没 你拿起酒杯对自己说 一杯敬朝阳 一杯敬月光 唤醒我的向往 温柔了寒窗 于是可以不回头地逆风飞翔 不怕心头有雨 眼底有霜 一杯敬故乡 一杯敬远方 守着我的善良 催着我成长 所以南北的路从此不再漫长 灵魂不再无处安放 一杯敬明天 一杯敬过往 支撑我的身体 厚重了肩膀 虽然从不相信所谓山高水长 人生苦短何必念念不忘 一杯敬自由 一杯敬死亡 宽恕我的平凡 驱散了迷惘 好吧天亮之后总是潦草离场 清醒的人最荒唐 好吧天亮之后总是潦草离场 清醒的人最荒唐

2018 and 2019

note (2018):

i was practicing yoga throughout the year

then i picked up some exercises

and i did manage to lose some weight and look more toned up i guess

coz all my pants are loser now lol

happy is me

and my friends did noticed that i lost weight

in fact i didnt really notice that myself

that is my achievement for 2018

so thank you esther for doing this for yourself and your body

so that also mean more yoga and workout this year

and also slowly practice healthy eating

you are what you eat

that is my new year resolution

a broken dream

hi

i guess i am heading home soon

im not sure if i am ready to do this

i am not sure if i am accepting the fact, yet

it is a tough road lots of money spent lots of time spent lots of confusion along the way

but i have to say i was not alone which i am grateful

not sure what would happen if i am here facing all these by myself

perhaps i have gone home much earlier

is the baharu home gonna work for me

or i have to mem-baharu myself to make things work

i guess i will find out soon

sigh

it was a long journey

so many times i thought i would get it

so many times i was and we were so close to it

yet it is so far

is this fate

is this destiny

away from home for years

away from people i used to be close for years

indeed i have lived a life in my own way

most of the time it is just me myself and zhuwei

and nobody else

now that if i were to head home

it is no longer me and myself and zhuwei

there are papa mama bro and a lot more

other than that

work will be so damn different too

am i even ready for this

i guess i have tried my best we have tried our best here

and it is time to face another new challenge

i have a bad habit

or i shall say i am very conservative

i have always set a goal for myself

where i have a stable job and earning dollars when i am 25

now today i am 26 i have a job and earning dollars

but i would not say it is stable

i thought this would be it

but nope

life is full of challenges

i thought of blaming myself for choosing the path at the very very very first place

which is 5 years ago

which also does not make sense

there is nothing i can do to bring time back to 5 years ago to restart everything again

what i can do is to look forward and work harder to make things work

make things work better

i also thought of blaming the regulations and stuffs

but i guess we tried he tried

and now i guess it is time to let go

and is this a broken dream

perhaps

and it is time to create a new dream

and make it come true