imperfect

im not a perfect to myself.

im not a perfect daughter to my parents.

im not a perfect sister to my younger sister and brother.

im not a perfect lover to my lover.

im not a perfect friend to my friends.

im not a perfect student to my lecturers.

along the journey, i guess all of us tend and try to be perfect in front of everyone.

well, maybe not you but me.

i have high expectation on myself since god knows when.

in the same time, i have high expectation on my sister and brother.

i hope they will be better than me and that will lead them to a better pathway later.

and then, they are able to take care of the family and themselves.

not to say, i am not gonna take care of the family.

just that, i am afraid i can't do it, i can't do it myself.

i tend to give a lot of pressure to my sister and brother, especially my sister.

i really hope she will be well-being girl and then a lady. :)

but now, i realized i gave her too much of pressure that she tend to go against it.

against me.

now, i realized my mistake.

such a big mistake.

that's why i said im imperfect.

i tried to make things perfect but things are always upside down.

perhaps imperfect is perfect for sometimes.

i shouldn't be worry of them, so much of worries.

everyone has their own way of living.

i can't make them do it my way.

and i realized.

终于看开来，开了一点点。