2018 and 2019

note (2018):

i was practicing yoga throughout the year

then i picked up some exercises

and i did manage to lose some weight and look more toned up i guess

coz all my pants are loser now lol

happy is me

and my friends did noticed that i lost weight

in fact i didnt really notice that myself

that is my achievement for 2018

so thank you esther for doing this for yourself and your body

so that also mean more yoga and workout this year

and also slowly practice healthy eating

you are what you eat

that is my new year resolution

a broken dream

hi

i guess i am heading home soon

im not sure if i am ready to do this

i am not sure if i am accepting the fact, yet

it is a tough road lots of money spent lots of time spent lots of confusion along the way

but i have to say i was not alone which i am grateful

not sure what would happen if i am here facing all these by myself

perhaps i have gone home much earlier

is the baharu home gonna work for me

or i have to mem-baharu myself to make things work

i guess i will find out soon

sigh

it was a long journey

so many times i thought i would get it

so many times i was and we were so close to it

yet it is so far

is this fate

is this destiny

away from home for years

away from people i used to be close for years

indeed i have lived a life in my own way

most of the time it is just me myself and zhuwei

and nobody else

now that if i were to head home

it is no longer me and myself and zhuwei

there are papa mama bro and a lot more

other than that

work will be so damn different too

am i even ready for this

i guess i have tried my best we have tried our best here

and it is time to face another new challenge

i have a bad habit

or i shall say i am very conservative

i have always set a goal for myself

where i have a stable job and earning dollars when i am 25

now today i am 26 i have a job and earning dollars

but i would not say it is stable

i thought this would be it

but nope

life is full of challenges

i thought of blaming myself for choosing the path at the very very very first place

which is 5 years ago

which also does not make sense

there is nothing i can do to bring time back to 5 years ago to restart everything again

what i can do is to look forward and work harder to make things work

make things work better

i also thought of blaming the regulations and stuffs

but i guess we tried he tried

and now i guess it is time to let go

and is this a broken dream

perhaps

and it is time to create a new dream

and make it come true